Let the record show that I like this video ...

One of the best videos I've watched in the last 24 hours


Let the record show also that I am moving this blog again.
This is because I realize that all who are posting on xanga talk either about relationship problems, how to get with the guys/girls, kittens, cats, etc etc.

If you want your words to carry some weight, either be very good at writing and make a lot of sense, or operate in the vicinity of those who do.

tada, i've moved here.

http://syquek.livejournal.com

p.s. at the time of moving, the front page of xanga which advertises featured blogs has entries with the following titles:
My Autism Crush Part I
Disney's THe Princess and the Frog
Homecoming
Obama's Push for School

nao hia ... i thought funny people open on the 24th. i was wrong -- it's the 1st of october. DAMN.

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a flurry of conversations the last week or so.
a friend's mom actually gave a pretty accurate analysis of me as a person.

i agree i am a very private person. and i am quite cynical.

and at this moment, i'm reading milan kundera's the unbearable lightness of being. and i haven't really gotten my head around this book ... but there are parts of it that i like, that i think make sense.

and i quote a section called Living in Truth (written as part of dictionary of phrases with differing definitions by a pair of illicit, clandestine lovers):

"For Sabina, living in truth, lying neither to ourselves nor to others, was possible only away from the public: the moment someone keeps an eye on what we do, we involuntarily make allowances for that eye, and nothing we do is truthful. Having a public, keeping a public in mind, means living in lies. Sabina despised literature in which people give away all kinds of intimate secrets about themselves and their friends. A man who loses his privacy loses everything, Sabina thought. And a man who gives it up of his own free will is a monster. That was why Sabina did not suffer in the least from having to keep her love secret. On the contrary, only by doing so could she live in truth.

Franz on the other hand, was certain that the division of life into private and public spheres is the source of all lies: a person is one thing in private and something quite different in public. For Franz, living in truth meant breaking down the barriers between the private and the public. He was fond of quoting Andre Breton on the desirability of living 'in a glass house' into which everyone can look and there are no secrets."

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been reading through some of the archives from 2004.

like this one

i read it and i smile.

i think i will repost some of the older entries that i find interesting, just for old time's sake.

i agree. i've changed.

oh and i throw more tantrums now. i don't understand why but i do.

to the waangker:

some acts of self-mutilation are necessary.
i cut my finger nails often.

and the nipple thing didn't work out. i didn't have the guts. sensitive spots lah. HAHAHHA.

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after more than 4 years of writing down my thoughts and reading some of the entries from way back, i realised that i have either matured or become more reticent. Take a look at the below entry, circa 2004.

Old old old entry

what a load of bull. and sounding so self-assured (read: smart alecky) some more. actually kind of obnoxious. a totally cringe-worthy entry.

ok i take back the part about it being a load of bull. the funny thing is i still agree with a lot of the stuff i wrote back then. i still believe all men are bastards, or at some point in their life will be bastards, either by choice or by accident of nature. it is our destiny.

i also still believe that there is a very standard progression to courtship in singapore, though with much less conviction. i also now tend to concur with what my friend 21 said about just whacking. we've come to an age where mincing about pays no dividends. consider your target as a commodity, with varying valuations. they are non-uniform because everyone's needs are non-uniform at a specific point in time. rich beer guzzling men would hardly consider a glass of water worthy of their attentions but ask the fucker purple tongue lolling in the desert and you'd get a totally different reaction. ah but now watch out ... your target is a scarce commodity. means typically high prices. means you should be more gan cheong to make an early bid.

i know a woman who was diagnosed with diabetes from a very young age. she's been fitted with a device that regularly pumps insulin directly into her body (there's a tube sticking out from her side) ever since. her life is very much a series of experiments, of pushing her own limits. she sky-dives. she bungee jumps. she travels like hilary clinton (in terms of destinations, not in terms of style and personal jet carrier and shit like that).

the point is: you should not just sit there and wait or just think or just plot or just take small little dainty steps. roald dahl once gave an awesome analogy in one of his books to this: he said that to shift a headache, you don't just take one aspirin, when the recommended dosage says two, and hope for the best, then pop the second one only after an hour. you pop two straight.

you have to put your pride on the line. you need to take those small risks because they enrich an otherwise pedestrian life. don't assume that you're the only who's looking for a boat ride. you can always come back to shore; takes time but it's there. but while you sit there quaking in your batman undies and thinking about whether your approach is correct and whether you'd be letting whoever it is or yourself down, giving wrong impressions and all that nonsense, the boat is being boat-jacked. and you might rue the day you missed the ride.